On March 3rd, 2024, Vestpod's Money Matters festival took centre stage at the iconic KOKO in Camden, London. Stefanie Sword-Williams challenges conventional notions of success and fulfilment, urging the audience to prioritise personal values over societal expectations. Drawing from her own experiences, Stefanie emphasises the importance of embracing individuality and pursuing intrinsic sources of wealth, such as time and joy.

Stefanie began her speech with a candid revelation: "I don't want to be a millionaire. I don't want to be a homeowner. And I don't think that I want to be a mother." This bold statement, while deeply personal, served as a reminder that the pursuit of happiness is deeply individual, and societal expectations should not dictate your path to fulfilment. Stefanie highlighted her weariness with conforming to societal norms, echoing America Ferrera's quote that striving to meet external expectations often feels useless and draining.

Initially, Stefanie believed that climbing the career ladder and accumulating wealth was incredibly important. Yet, she came to realise that these pursuits were not inherently hers; rather, they were imposed beliefs. Stefanie's primary value, she discovered, was freedom.

the inspiration behind the change

Setfanie’s sister has been a huge source of inspiration for her mindset shift.

Her sister made a bold move by leaving a lucrative position in the insurance sector to pursue a career in mental health, accepting an entry-level wage. She came to understand that her true wealth was time, and this choice has significantly altered Stefanie’s life’s path and her aspirations for the future.

Whenever she is questioned about her concerns about lagging behind, her response is quite the contrary. Stefanie’s sister reflects on her time in the insurance industry, where she was constantly focused on the future, convincing herself that contentment would come once certain milestones were achieved.

Yet, even upon reaching those milestones, fulfilment was simply nowhere to be seen. It was only when she decided to release the societal pressures and the imposed future expectations that she experienced a profound change. She started to embrace each day as it unfolded, realising that happiness isn’t contingent upon meeting specific criteria but can be found in the present moment.

It becomes possible to liberate one's mind from the burden of pursuing a future self that may not align with personal desires. By relinquishing the pressure to conform to predetermined expectations, individuals open themselves to experiencing the present moment fully. Although it may sound cliché, Stefanie's sister affirmed that the journey itself often holds more fulfilment than reaching the destination.

SOCIETAL NORMS

Stefanie acknowledged that diverging from societal norms can provoke resistance and criticism from others. Yet, she embraced the labels of "crazy" and "mad" if they arose from staying true to personal values. She emphasized the importance of prioritising one's own needs and desires over the discomfort or expectations of others. Reflecting on her own experiences, Stefanie shared how she put her happiness over societal benchmarks, such as homeownership or financial gain.

She recounted moments when she deviated from conventional paths, such as relocating to Paris instead of pursuing a traditional career trajectory or prioritising financial stability. Despite potential judgment from others, Stefanie found contentment in her decisions and celebrated the achievements and milestones of loved ones without feeling inadequate or left behind.

the importance of self-reflection

“A Christmas, when my three best friends called me to say they were all pregnant at the same time, I didn’t go into doubt or fear or worry that I was being left behind. I felt nothing but genuine joy and excitement for their next chapter. And I can share all of this because I regularly spend time evaluating what is important to me.”

— Stefanie Sword-Williams

Stefanie advocates for regular self-reflection as a means of staying grounded in personal values and aspirations. She encouraged her audience to ponder three fundamental questions: What brings joy? What aligns with life ambitions? What might one regret not pursuing? These inquiries served as compass points, guiding individuals towards decisions that resonated with their authentic selves and shielding them from external pressures.

Recognising that grappling with these questions can be daunting, Stefanie offered reassurance and encouraged reframing if needed. She underscored the importance of honouring one's truth and resisting societal expectations, even when doing so may invite criticism or dissent. Ultimately, Stefanie urged her audience to embrace their autonomy and make decisions aligned with their values.

the power of joy

Consider what currently lacks joy in your life, and consider what impedes you from embracing the life you desire. Reflect on past regrets, recognising that it's often simpler to identify shortcomings than to plan for the future. Stefanie shared insights from author Daniel Pink's book, "The Power of Regrets," advocating for a shift away from the notion of living without regrets. Instead, she encouraged viewing regrets as guiding lights for future endeavours. She cautioned against succumbing to "boldness regret," lamenting missed opportunities for speaking up and living boldly.

Stefanie recounted her personal journey of reframing her mindset. Rather than fixating on doing more or earning more, she adopted a mantra of pride in whatever she accomplished. She abandoned excuses for inaction and pursued long-dormant aspirations.

Stefanie urged her audience to continually revisit a crucial question: What do they value most? She affirmed the validity of diverse values, whether it be indulging in luxury items or investing in personal growth. She emphasised the importance of introspection and the courage to redefine one's values.

As Stefanie concluded her speech, she encouraged active engagement with the discussed questions. She underscored the significance of this introspective exercise in fostering personal growth and fulfilment. In closing, she reiterated the message of autonomy, urging her audience to carve their own paths and not settle for what is deemed to be ‘the right thing to do’.

Catch up on Money Matters 2024:

Thank you to our partners:

At JPMorgan Chase, we believe that we have a responsibility to harness our business and policy expertise, research, data, talent and global presence to help create greater economic opportunity for more people.

PensionBee is incredibly passionate about helping women to save for retirement and eradicating the gender pension gap once and for all.

The Financial Times is one of the world’s leading business news organisations, recognised internationally for its authority, integrity and accuracy.

KOKO is an iconic London venue featuring live music, electronic nights, art exhibitions and a dynamic cultural calendar of events within its private members club The House of KOKO.

EQ Investors (EQ) is a B Corp wealth manager with an emphasis on providing high quality financial advice.

Live Nation Women is a division of Live Nation with a mission to power progress for women.

L’OCCITANE is a real romance novel; a simple story of being in love with nature and Provence, where some of the very best ingredients in the world can be found.

TOM FORD BEAUTY is a covetable collection of cosmetics, skincare, and fragrances, shaped with Tom Ford’s distinct vision of modern glamour and crafted with quality and luxury.

Money Matters 2024 - Stefanie Sword-Williams: How to Work Towards What You Value?