💸 Money stresses are common – and with the current cost of living crisis, an increasing number of families are anxious about debt, earnings, and just getting by.

Today, we speak to the brilliant podcaster and mother of 3, Clemmie Telford. She is also the curator of the Mother of All Lists blog. Clemmie opens up about her money journey, knowing her self-worth, and overcoming financial obstacles.

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Financial journeys and money conversations

• For Clemmie, money continues to be quite a triggering subject — because there have certainly been some ups and downs. Clemmie had an offer accepted on a house 2019 with a good budget in mind for that renovation — but with Brexit, the pandemic, and now the cost of living, things aren’t particularly relaxed.

• You have ideas of what your finances in your 40’s will look like — and when you get there and it's not like that, it can be disappointing. For example, Clemmie went away on holiday earlier in the year, but they decided to drive because flights were expensive. So while she feels she has financial freedom, it’s not the kind that she had expected.

• Clemmie says she would find it easy to negotiate for other people, but feels that it's about playing to your strengths — and she feels this isn't where her abilities lie. Having an agent means they are able to negotiate Clemmie at better prices than she would probably do for herself.

• When it comes to professional life, one day Clemmie had a very honest conversation about her earnings and she realised she was being paid 50% less than she should have been for the role that she was doing.

• At Facebook, she felt like she was finally being paid what she was worth — and for the first time ever, she had a better understanding of what her worth was and so could properly negotiate her my pay.

• Head-hunters can help you figure out your worth, and what your going rate should be. It is also just a matter of being brave enough to ask for it. Clemmie found that the advertising industry did not reward loyalty and long term commitment to the job.

• The problem is when you're undervalued, underpaid, it's a hotbed for resentment. Sometimes you can bring your value down, but if you do it and there's any space for resentment, it will end up shaping the whole of the work that you do, and it's really toxic.

Identifying your values

• You often know in your gut whether there’s a brand you want to work with or not — but it can still be a difficult thing. Especially when finances are tight and you have to take on work that perhaps you normally wouldn’t.

• When your balance sheet doesn’t look as good as you’d like, sometimes you have to remind yourself that you made certain sacrifices for a reason — eg. investing time in renovating the family home. Being self-employed is definitely not for the faint hearted!

• It is also normal to go through various cycles — for example, going from full-time work to managing a project.

• You should also be mindful of your triggers when it comes to social media and comparisons — for example, Clemmie is aware that her trigger is seeing nice outfits on others, however she reminds herself that the nuance in the context of people spending will rarely be portrayed online.

Surviving a financial crisis

• In 2017, Clemmie had two kids and had two back to back maternity leaves pretty close. The family were in the middle of renovating their house, and her husband had started a business before their youngest was born — and then went through a breakdown and as part of that, bankrupted the business. However, he had also lied to Clemmie in the process which was very difficult for them as a couple.

• They had a bailiff at the door regularly, and that life event is what pushed Clemmie more deeply into social media, because she needed to try and find other ways to earn money. Anyone who's been at the stage where you've got bailiffs at your door regularly, it is such a bleak state of affairs because you are trying to deal with some mental health breakdown simultaneously. No one means to find out there.

• It was a deeply dark and full of shame because it was tied up with lying, because they let themselves get to that point. Life sometimes just throws a load of stuff at you — Clemmie says they were kind of holding it together within reason, living an average life, and meanwhile, things were spiralling really badly.

• Clemmie was focusing on trying to save their marriage, firstly. And then it's just a bit by bit, you have to go through the process of filing a company and solvent, then you begin to pay back the debt — which is a slow, slow, slow journey out. However, the wounds stay with you for a long time.

• Financial infidelity is difficult because it's a lack of knowing about what is going on, the lies, so it’s difficult. It also showed Clemmie how stressful life is when you don’t have money — it ends up dominating your absolutely every waking thought.

• Going forward, Clemmie now knows to tackle money conversations with more honesty, but also trying to have an open dialogue with both her spouse and friends.

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You can follow and connect with Clemmie at:

• Instagram: Clemmie Telford

• Website: Mother of All Lists

*** #AD Our podcast partners PensionBee are also offering you a £25 pension contribution (£20, plus £5 in tax relief) when you sign up. To claim the offer, follow this link: https://www.pensionbee.com/vestpod. Capital at risk. ***